Updated: May 31
Meeting the stress of your VISA applications: How to not feel like sh*t and fear everything in the process.
You don’t have to spend thousands of dollars on a lawyer for your visa process, USCIS, or otherwise.
I get it, it is downright frightening given what is on the line if you don’t get your visa.
What that would change in and mean for your life?
Not to mention the amount of money it costs just for the visa alone....
Shelling out thousands more for a lawyer might just aid in easing your stresses if you can afford it.
However, if you dread having to pay lawyer fees like me, and you need or want to go through the process on your own, it really doesn’t have to be as scary and difficult as it might seem.
Government documents, there is simply an intimidating factor behind ‘em all.
With the amount of paperwork as well as the language used on them, you might also wonder why they have to seem so overly complex and confusing.
But going through the USCIS process myself with my Japanese husband, as well as going through visa applications for living, working, and studying in 4 other countries, then most recently again with my husband for our move to France.
I came to realize that most of my fear of the process came from all the ways I was catastrophizing the worst outcome instead of taking them one question at a time.
The struggle was from my own sabotaging.
What I did
1. When I stopped focusing on all that could go wrong, I felt more at ease reading the
documents and then I could be more receptive and resourceful in deciphering what it was we
needed to do
2. Then doing one thing at a time and not allowing myself to feel the weight of everything on
the list of to-dos helped me feel more confident and sure I could take the task on.
So, I wanted to offer to you that maybe you too are making the process more complicated simply by visualizing all the worst-case scenarios and taking on too much of the process at one time.
This doesn’t mean the process is easy, It isn’t even if you do it with a lawyer, the hard part is gathering all the needed documents, which is what you have to do either way.
Going in, knowing that it is going to be a difficult process BUT also accepting that you are indeed more than capable of doing this on your own is the first step in the mindset it takes to tackle such a process.
3. After that, it’s as simple as the truest cliché goes, one step at a time, one page, one
document, one question at a time.
Another possible factor that might bring on more weight & pressure is the fact that the process isn’t usually that fun to do. That and the necessity to do it “perfectly” are a tough combo.
Something that helped me with this was thinking about:
What does this process mean for my life?
Answering while being moved by the reminders of the meaning and importance of getting these tasks done pushed the doubts and difficulties out and carried us through to the finish line....
The ability for my husband to be in the USA with me or now the ability for my husband and I to be
in France, living together on an entirely new adventure we had long dreamed of.....
This and knowing we have nothing to hide, that we are eligible and have all the documents we need, and have all the qualifications to get the visas brought much confidence and eased a great deal of the tension in the process.
Each situation can indeed come with variations of complexity, but the worst part I found was the ways of my thinking and reacting to the process.
****And when you realized what is within your control, slow down, take the process piece by piece, and focus on the goal with promise and excitement of the possibilities, the tasks become much more manageable and clear.
I want that for you too, whatever process you are going through I believe the above surely translates.
Best to you.
Let me know what you are working through in the comments. You got this.