Both one of the hardest and most rewarding things I have done. (a very brief first impression)
It was so much, I don’t fully know how to break it down in a short post.
It was not easy, it was hard for all reasons I hadn’t even imagined.
However, I learned a lot.
Some things I have taken with me and others I don’t have the space for, YET.
But I did it.
Cheers to follow through, not a small task that should be celebrated.
I think there were 9 or more people that left in the middle for various reasons, and I get why because there wasn’t a day that I didn’t stand at the border of our beautiful walking spaces in the fields and think about jumping the fence and catching a ride with the tractor I spotted at the farm nearby.
The whole experience was a swift adjustment, overnight to jump into silence and no communicating, no gestures, no reading, writing, no phones or other devices, no connecting with others…. Except for the imaginary images I fabricated on my walls. (smile)
But the process worked as it was supposed to and each day I would both want to run away from the process and come back to trusting the process.
As the days advanced, I would smile giddily realizing I was actually seeing how, why, and the ways this works EVEN as I continued to struggle and resist how hard it was.
The hardest part was physical.
There are about 10+ hours of meditation scheduled each day, I never did that much, I would balance the hours of sitting meditating with wandering meditation in the forest and fields throughout each day, mixed with horizontal meditation in contemplation in my room as well, so each day varied. However, starting on day 3 it was mandatory that we do a minimum of 3 separate hours where we do our very best to have zero movement at all. phew…cheers to challenges. But it ended up not being as hard as it sounds.
Amazing what you can overcome when you allow yourself to experience it.
This was the point, to sit and observe.
When your feet go numb and are so cold you can hardly feel anything anymore, this sensation is the focus and allowing yourself to remember the Anicca --- impermanence of life and all things in it ~
That numbness will subside…. Or it won’t and then you move, but you first focus on being aware before reacting and needing change.
Allow it, notice it, observe the sensation, and keep going about your day (observing the rest of the body in cycles).
And funny enough, as nature promises, change happens and the pain/sensation will have shifted the next time you come back to that spot.
The more you practice allowing, remembering that nothing lasts ANICCA (impermanence, the most beautiful message from nature and that is YOUR nature), the easier it is to not get worked up and irritated at life in all ways, and not need to jump to change but rather, let it be and it will go away on its own, in time.
This is the case for all things.
So with this meditation practice, we learn to go deep and get past the intellect, the thoughts, the surface, and get into the sensations of the body.
We experience life through our bodies, when we get angry, upset, annoyed, or even excited, overjoyed, happy or experience any emotion, our body starts to react before we can necessarily make sense of it.
By practicing (Vipassana) we start to connect more quickly and more in tune with our bodily sensations and can more easily decide how we want to react if at all.
Our response to life’s varied circumstances can be within our control.
To connect to this wisdom that is available to us and can be tapped into by slowing down, focusing your attention, observing what is/observing nature as it is…by observing the reality inside with equanimity sans judgment and simply with the pure, honest, desire to get to know yourself, (KNOW THYSELF) and realizing and understanding that every experience is impermanent, and further building patience, compassion, love, peace, harmony…of mind, body and beyond.
For you, for those you love, for those you don’t even know, forever.
That (possibility) feels amazing.
What are you waiting for to start?
Have you tried Vipassana or a different type of meditation?
I would love to hear your experience. And if you want to know more about Vipassana, message me.
Photo of some of the walking area of the Dhamma Mahi Vipassana Centre in France, lovely as it is.
Find a center near you: https://www.dhamma.org/en/index